When my parents finally see how I feel, how can I further integrate myself? , The
I'm 24 years old and I've been going through some bad stuff lately, which has brought my real situation to my parents' attention.
I've always been very knowledgeable and reliable, so they were comfortable with me and didn't mind me too much - after all, I got good grades, so they just assumed I was all right and didn't think much about how to train me.
I think it's really a perfunctory and insufficient attention.
Now they realize how low self-esteem, anxiety, and internal conflict I had inside.
They provided material support, such as food and clothing, but ignored my heart feelings and never cared about my mental state, relationships or emotions.
There was very little communication between us.
Also, because I moved twice as a child, I never had many friends.
I'm confused right now: is the problem between my parents and I just a miscommunication, or are they simply not giving me enough love? I don't know if I should blame them and then express my thoughts and aggression (and maybe express it in order to integrate myself better), or if I should blame myself for being too weak?
Hi owner, I'm Whale Social Worker Fairy Fairy Fairy and I'm happy to talk to you about what I think.
I hope this helps, and I'll start by responding to your reference to the concept of "integration".
So heartbroken to see you in your current state and sending you a warm hug~
🌸 I would like to share that according to Prof. Danny Siegel's theory, our brain is divided into left and right brain and upper and lower brain, and a healthy, integrated brain is fully developed and balanced.
From your description, it seems that the problem between you and your parents is not just a communication problem, but deeper than that, it is a lack of emotional connection.
🌸 This lack of love can cause thinking and emotions to become rigid, withdrawn, hesitant, fearful, etc., and can even affect your future interpersonal interactions, making you feel out of place and difficult to communicate with.
🌸 From a healing perspective, your energy is low right now, but don't label yourself as weak. Everyone goes through ups and downs in life, and as the saying goes, "all is well that ends well", and sometimes in life you need to take a detour.
But more importantly, you need to understand the laws and methods of healing.
🌼First, align your energy, fulfill yourself through self-love, and reduce your dependence on your parents, often referred to as "weaning".
🌼 When communicating with your parents, if you find yourself being aggressive, pause the communication for a while. Deal with that part when you can calm down and stabilize your emotions to avoid stacking problems.
🌼 Accept yourself completely because the person who loves you most in the world is you. When you truly accept yourself, then go and talk to your parents about how you want to be treated, so you'll be more grounded and less aggressive.
I hope these suggestions will give you new ideas that
❤ The world and I love you, good luck~ (Whale Social Worker Fairy Fairy)
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